less friends; more acquaintances.
   Disclaimer: the current page
  is atrociously coded, works for MSIE 6 & NSN 7.2 so far.
  Better not try Opera, I puked when I did.
  Miraculously enough, Mozilla
  Firefox kinda works too, phew.
  BUT. Not very well of course.
  NSN & MF can't see the Jscript
  navigation I put up, too bad ;p
  (In midst of upgrading, keep looking. Working on a table-less 100% CSS layout now, not this TABLE TR TD bullshit that can't even be cross-browser compat.)
Who's blogging, you ask?
- pronounced KAY-n.
- not to be confused with kelvin.
- the B's: basketball & books.
- singing, photography, movies.
the poook.
- The once in a blue moon contributor
- kein's sis.
- yet another once-in-a-blue-moon blogger.
- more to come eventually?
Listening to:
Mayday 五月天 -
iam tandem - an old story.
read it, download it here.
rainingberry auctions, lotsa stuff for sale. check it out! :O
brother sketch's niche ;)
the leongster's shots.
estee's dreams.
the recluse's pixels.
khelath's boredom.
cher's recipes 'n such.
maddox's best page in the universe.
rich burlew's OOTS comic strips, thrice a week!

CCNA stuff

Recent rants

Powered by Blogger Who Links Here a small tribute here to the countless forums and sites on css i visited on Google: thanks! ;)

i still bled my brains dry and spent ten odd hours debugging the damn alignment 'tho. *makes a face*

Saturday, April 16

what makes you happy?

- kein, posted at 8:04 PM.

Idle talk being exchanged at the dinner table just now with ah poook, and the thought just struck me; There wasn't really anything I could do or want that made me happy.

I understand what constitutes a challenge, and the feeling of exhilaration. After all, that's why I play basketball.

Satisfaction, accomplishment, yep. Maybe I'll reserve that for stupid stuff like my upcoming degree and other long term goals.

Contentment, yeah of course. Whenever I get enough sleep or buy something I want ;p

But happiness? Hmm, this one sorta stumped me. I haven't had the feeling of being happy in quite some time. Not even when I'm out with my friends, hmm not even; just realised this part when I was out with LS in the noon. Most of them have been a big part of my life for years, and the belated realisation that I've unknowingly cut most of them out isn't very pretty.

Living for the sake of living, and nothing else. I don't talk much about my inner feelings nowadays, and it feels like I've pretty much compartmented most of those hazardous emotions away, lock shackles chains and all. They're still there in the corner, but it's all I do to take the merest peek once in a while.

The lyrics in Jay's 倒带 sorta summed it up, but I don't think there's a 你 involved.

应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 一个人假日发呆 找不到人陪我看海
我想你应该明白 却一直都进不来 你留给我的伤害 我是真的很难释怀

Perhaps it's more like this.

应该开心的地带 感觉的全是空白 一个人假日发呆 找不到人陪我看海
或许有人能明白 却一直都进不来 这种莫名的伤痕 我是真的很难释怀